Dreams Forever at War with Time.

How many times have you told someone something in the line of:

“Ugh mehn, I would really love to do it but I have just been busy you know”.

“So sorry I can’t show up mehn, I have just been occupied”.

How many?

I know my “How Many” is a lot, I am sure its a lot for you as well.

You see, I envy the rich. I envy them so much. They fall into different categories in my head, but I’m not here to talk about them today.

Plus, can I really talk about them? I don’t live in their world. I’m just a regular Joe, a regular Tola, a regular You.

Well, unless you fall under them, in which case, I just have to say congratulations, from the bottom of my heart, CONGRATS.

The concept of time is so interesting. We all have time, but only a few of us truly get to use it exactly the way we want.

I mean exactly. Random people sat in a room and decided what we should do with a huge chunk of our time.

We, meaning regular folks like you and me. Again, unless you’re part of them, in which case, you’re not regular.

You come into this world, and you’re already on a planned schedule. You’re supposed to do this, you’re supposed to do that. You tell yourself, “OMG! Once I’m older, and I can make my own decisions, I’ll be so happy and free.”

“I’ll do everything I want to do.”

I laugh as I type this because that’s such a blatant lie. Such false hope. It’s kind of sad, honestly.

In case you didn’t know, I’ve started writing songs. One day, I was driving to lord knows where, and I decided to start doing this.

I’m really interested in interior design. If you know me well, this isn’t news.

I love finance, and I want to have a fantastic career in it.

I want to write songs, I want to design, and I want to work in finance.

I like to read. I picked up this habit randomly, and it’s been great.

I like to paint and color. Some people think that coloring at 27 is childish.

(Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if you think so, you can honestly kiss my Nigerian ass.)

I’ve gotten into Legos recently. It’s been helping me work on my patience and critical thinking skills.

The gym has also been on my mind. I feel so good after a workout session.

I want to go to the gym, read, paint, color, and build Legos.

I used to be in a romantic relationship. It was lovely for the most part, but most times, love isn’t enough. Today I want it all back. Tomorrow, I want no parts.

I love my bestie so much. I have so many amazing friends, and I miss my family every day. However, due to the foolishness of our leaders, we’re all scattered around the globe.

I also want to build a stronger network and meet more people. it’s so important.

At what point do I see everyone? When do I grow and develop all these relationships?

I’m trying to make and save money. I’m trying to build credit. I’m trying to pay off debts.

I’m attempting to go to church, build my faith, and be a better person.

I visit Autumn, my therapist, regularly because I have to. It’s crucial to my personal development.

I can’t put any of the above on the back burner. I just have to do them all. They’re so crucial for my life, for my soul.

I can keep going. I can keep listing all of the things I want to do, the things I need to do. All the places I want to visit, the places I need to visit.

All the goals and aspirations I want to achieve, the ones I need to achieve.

One could say that I’m overthinking, and that everything can be done if I just plan it with different timelines.

This is true, but -

There’s only one me, and sometimes, I have to juggle multiple things at once to get what I want.

Are you getting my drift? Are you following? Because it must be the same for you too.

If you work a 9-to-5 (okay, it’s actually 8-to-5), I just have to ask, how are we supposed to do all the things we want?

Some people wake up at 5 a.m., others wake up later. But we all have to be clocked in before 10 a.m. unless you want to hear from HR.

We’re supposed to clock out around 5 p.m., but God forbid you have to go into the office. You’ll be lucky if you get home by 6 or 7, depending on how far you live.

Mind you, this timing is based on some foreign explanation. Lord forbid you live in Lagos. You get home, and now you have to eat, run errands, or maybe squeeze in some other task. It’s also so stupid because everything is open during work hours.

How am I supposed to see the dentist when by 5 p.m., my guy is also clocked out? Who made this dumb shit up?

And Lord forbid you have kids, or even a pet. And we have to run this rat race Monday through Friday?

The weekends are for resting. WHAT REST? Can someone let me know in the chat? You have to run all the errands, see all the people you can see.

You have to take care of all your personal life stuff. In 48 HOURS?? (Minus the hours you’ll be sleeping at night).

Or maybe we’re not supposed to sleep.

They want you to have a family, but you need to work. So, you’ll spend most of your hours working when life would be so much better if it were spent with your family. If you don’t work, no money. No money = serious wahala.

They want you to build good relationships and friendships, but everyone is so busy that you can’t see your friends or make real connections until December of 2027. How am I supposed to function? How are we functioning?

How am I supposed to do all the things I want to do? How are you supposed to?

When am I supposed to do it? When are you supposed to? LIKE, HELLO??

I visit Autumn during work hours because I just have to. She’s only available during work hours.

They want me to work on myself, but the process of doing that is clashing with another important activity?

LIKE, COME ON, ARE WE FOR REAL??

Companies talk to you about work-life balance. WHAT BALANCE?

Is the balance in the few hours you have after work to gather yourself? Or is it in the morning? While driving in traffic?

Where is it? IS IT IN THE ROOM WITH US?

IS IT??

You might say, "Well, it's not compulsory to do a 9-5. You can just have your own business, make your own timetable.”

However, I grew up under the roof of entrepreneurial parents, and let me tell you:

For you to have a successful business, you have to work your ass off. And what goes into that? TIME. A lot of it.

So, we’re right back where we started.

(OR actually, if you know of a way in which I can live a decent life and have all the time and money to be okay.

Please email me and I am so deadass).

Chargie was talking to me about multitasking, learning to manage our time properly.

"There are people that are doing it, they have cracked the code, we can do it as well. We just have to plan better"

“PLEASE!! WRAP THAT SHIT UP” is what I was thinking.

Not everyone can multitask, not everyone is good at managing time properly.

Why do I have to wake up at 4am and go to bed at 11pm before I can be me. Before I can do all the things that make me happy.

Do we not deserve to live a good life? Do we not deserve to breathe? It’s only One Tola, it’s only One You, why must shit be so difficult?

Now back to the Rich folks, from earlier.

I bring them up because they make all the rules, they are the ones-putting shit in place.

In my mind, a lot of them can go to HELL.

Our leaders can go to HELL.

Henry Ford especially can go to HELL.

I wish I could sit with him and ask him how he thought we were supposed to live decent lives with the stupid process he put in place.

Because it's so wild and unfair that we all have dreams we would love to see come true.

And navigating through it all is so damn hard.

We’re already living on borrowed time.